I’ve to come to a disappointing conclusion that I often hold myself to a higher standard than what I could ever define as reasonable, achievable, or even sane. As such, it seems regardless of how much effort I put into achieving that higher standard, even if I achieve it, I somehow get an itching feeling I could be constantly doing better, or could have indeed done better.
A proper analogy may be looking for a missing puzzle piece, even though everyone else insists the puzzle’s complete. A bit of insane to those who give up perhaps, but I’d rather feel like there’s a missing puzzle piece, than be fooled by an incomplete puzzle.
Maybe that’s the game in it, the intrigue in the quest or desire of knowledge. The feeling of completion, the feeling of solving a challenge that amounted to far more than you could ever see. Maybe it’s a silly dream, but I built a world on silly dreams, why stop now?